What is a Mother Blessing?

When you hear the words “*Mother Blessing*” you might not know what it is or it might be a foreign concept to you if you have come from a similar cultural upbringing as myself. The idea might seem a bit whoo or you may hold some fear of judgement from others. Expecting mothers in my culture have been conditioned to follow the path of planning a baby shower, where much of the focus is on the baby and baby gifts for example. I’m excited to share with you an idea for the future that is mother-centred.

A little side note, I heard a really beautiful concept the other day from Dr Melanie Jackson PhD on the Great birth Rebellion podcast. It was the idea that we plant the seeds for change and one day they will be shady trees. This process does take time to grow but I hope that these ideas, that we are planting in this article, will grow to change rituals and the way we honour maidens entering motherhood. We dream that one day our children will enjoy these “shady trees” and mother centred rituals.

Back on track……. Quite simply, a mother blessing is a gathering to celebrate and honour a woman as she travels through the epic transformation from maiden to mother. Or it can most definitely also be a celebration for a mother opening and expanding her heart to welcome a second or third baby. The blessing shines a light on the significant journey of birth and acknowledges and empowers the mother to know that she has the other women’s support in her circle.

I would like to make note that I have only attended a handful of mother blessings and admit to not being an expert. Despite my lack of experience due to these not being the norm, I really do hope that these celebrations become more common in our culture and we shift the focus from baby showers to instead honouring the mother in this magical way.

So in a very simplistic and straight forward manner here is my guide to having your very own Mother Blessing.

Step one: Ask two of your nearest and dearest to be your facilitators.

These people may be close friends, sisters, mothers, your Doula, anyone in the community that you have a close-knit relationship with and that could facilitate your mother blessing for you. These people assist in sending out emails, holding activities on the day and just make sure that mum feels really loved up and doesn’t have any unnecessary stress in organising things and can just soak up all the love and bliss.

Step two: Invite your circle of women to bring a plate to share.

All of the mother blessings I have attended this has been a common factor - All the ladies have brought a plate to share. There has been a plentiful amount of cakes and sweet treats for everyone and mum to enjoy. No catering, no fussy organisation of food just keep it really simply everyone brings something to share. The mother blessing has been held in the comfort of the mother's house, the mum to be might just make a big batch of Chai or tea and everyone enjoys the food together. Easy!

Step three: choose a few mother empowering rituals and ceremonies.

At a Mother Blessing you will not find unwrapping of baby clothes, sculling of beer from baby bottles or the pinnacle game of Love or porn! Haha Instead the ceremonies and rituals that take place are feminine, meaningful, spiritual, empowering and memorable for all for the right reasons.

Here are a few ideas for activities:

Bring A Bead To Make A Necklace For Mama.

This could be done a couple of ways, the most straightforward option is in an email sent out prior where everyone is invited to bring along a bead. Let your imagination run wild, it could be a shell, a bottle-top or a bead from a necklace that has broken. The point here is that it doesn't have to be expensive because it will hold meaning from the village member to gift to the mother.

In a circle, everyone goes around and says; how you know the mother to be, what you admire about the mother, and why you chose that particular bead. This is a beautiful opportunity to really get this mum feeling really loved up. At the end of the ceremony the beads are strung together to make a beautiful necklace for the mother to wear so that she feels like she has the strength and the thoughts of all the women who attended.

Another really beautiful way I have seen this ceremony take place is that one of the facilitators brings along clay. Sitting around drinking tea, eating cakes, all the women make a bead from the clay. My favourite was when one of the women at a mother blessing made some boobs from the clay. The beads are then all taken and fired/cooked and then strung together for a necklace for the mother to wear during the final weeks of her pregnancy, then birth and postpartum.

A stunning Mother Blessing necklace. Photo shared by a dear friend.

Red Thread Ceremony.

This is a deeply powerful and moving ceremony to honour the mothers rites of passage. In a circle everyone sits down and there is a red thread is passed from woman to woman and wrapped around the wrist to create a bracelet, then passed onto the next women. The gorgeous Hala from Mama Ummi uses a beautiful wool and acrylic blend in a rich dark red shade. In my case, with my massage work, I chose the option to have an anklet instead as shown in the above photo. This ritual honours our matrilineal line, that lives within us all. During this ritual it is poignant to take time to think about our mothers, mothers and many women before us who have given birth and women in front of us who will. To harness and embrace the power and wisdom all woman have within. Scissors are passed around and as a member of the circle cuts the thread to form a bracelet she says just one word to signify her well wishes for the mother. Women from the circle, including the mother, all wear the bracelet to it can remind each woman her role within the village. The bracelet is removed once baby arrives or some women may choose to leave the bracelet on until the mother is beyond her fourth trimester.

Foot Bath and Massage.

What better way to have this expecting mumma feeling really loved than a floral foot bath and a massage. Fill a foot tub with warm water a handful of organic rose, chamomile and maybe a little drip of lavender essential oil. Lastly some Magnesium chloride. (Check in with mum for allergies and sensitivities) After mama has had a little soak you might like to dry her feet and gentle massage in some Beautiful jojoba massage oil.

Painting.

Let your imagination go wild and paint. Organise some paper, watercolour paint and brushes to bring to life floral inspired images and butterflies opening up. These are beautiful for mama to hang in her birth space and to admire leading up to the birth, then in the early weeks of postpartum, knowing these watercolours are from the women in her village.

Making Flower Galas.

This is a lovely activity to do sitting in a circle chatting, eating cake and making flower galas. Using a needle and thread, thread dried flowers or maybe even dried fruit like oranges, leaves to make beautiful floral Galas that could accompany the paintings and to be hung up in the birth space.

Read A Poem Or Offer A Birth Affirmation.

Giving the attendees a heads up to bring along a little affirmation or poem for the mother. Share a poem that resonates with you and that you could share with this mama to be. Who knows, it might be the affirmation that she has in the birth space and gives her a lot of strength.

Meal Train Invitation.

It's no secret that you need a lot of extra calories to support healing after birth and to build up breastmilk supply! Having nourishing home-cooked meals delivered to your door can be a complete game changer during those early weeks and months postpartum. Simply gather everyones email address and you can shoot them the link to your meal train website. Get your facilitator to set up the meal train and you will receive one meal per week for the first 6 weeks. An idea is to commence the meal train when your partner returns to work.

Keep it simple. You might only do two or three of the above rituals and activities that really resonate with you but know that they will be hugely impactful and meaningful.

Please share this blog with your nearest and dearest to spark excitement in planning for a really beautiful mother blessing to feel held and empowered. Let’s make this the new normal for mothers as they make this epic transformation into a blossom motherhood.